...sex therapist for the first time. She's so confident! She gave me some exercises to do and encouraged me to keep seeing Dana and to come back in a couple of weeks with Josh for a joint session.
I told her about my feelings of being "defective" and she assured me that that is not so. My body works correctly, we just have to get my brain to agree with it. Another option for my problem is vulvodynia, which I'd need to have diagnosed by a gynecologist. Yikes. I'm not quite ready for that yet.
So I'm to continue with the exercises, basically getting comfortable with touching myself so that the dilators (or a penis, or a speculum) won't be so scary when I'm ready for that. Also, she encouraged me to make the room I do the exercises in as comfortable as possible. Soft music, warmth, dim lighting...
Once I'm able (or not able) to do this, the next step may be an anti-anxiety medication. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I've had a lot on my mind lately, so the anxiety for this appointment was kind of shoved to the back of my mind, but I do plan to try the "appointment for anxiety" idea that Dana gave me.
Wish me luck!
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