A mini update.

Ok, so I go back and forth between moments of hope and despair. I have to believe I'll get through this, and I know I'm doing the right thing by getting help, but it's not getting any easier.

We saw the sex therapist this week and she is incredibly encouraged. She has every confidence that we're making the right progress. Josh and I are doing our assignments and all seems to be going as she expects.

God, eight years!

I can't change the past, so I'm not going to dwell on it.

I'm scared to get my hopes up.

Josh says I'm getting less "jittery" when he comes near my vagina with his fingers. I still feel afraid, but I try my best to stay still and calm. Deep breaths.

There is progress, it's just so hard!

I'm going to do this!